Updated: Jan 14, 2019
I’ve had a lot of practice trying to fix the parts of myself I disliked. I’ve been committed to finding the gold by being consistent on dismantling myself. Only to find, I am stuck. The more I try to take apart the parts I don't like the stronger the force becomes. Creating more and more anger, frustration and doubt. Separating myself into pieces feels more comfortable than the obvious of feeling whole. The stagnation has depth and is tenacious. From time to time, I find ways out of this discomfort but it's never lasting…
Several years ago, I started composting. I saw a flyer for a free composting class titled “Turn your waste into Gold.” I was immediately sold. I went to the class and learned all about composting. Shortly after the class, I began. I had a one bin composter we made out of recycled wood and chicken wire. I mixed the browns with the greens, turning the compost pile on regular basis. Weekly, I would add to the pile keeping a close eye on the entire process. Making sure it was decomposing! The first year, it was working. I was consistent and committed. Although, I did not get any gold.
The second year, I was consistent and committed producing a few gold nuggets. Third year, I added two more bins. Making it a three bin composter. One bid for the browns, One for the greens, and the third bin to combine the two to make compost. Having the three bin's gave me more space. More space meant more waste.
The fourth year, I was not consistent or committed. I skipped some steps. I wasn’t turning the pile on regular basis instead I just added to the pile creating more layers of waste. I stop mixing the browns & greens. The waste was piling up only to stay on the surface. I was leaving the responsibility up to nature. The commitment I had made to myself and nature was not decomposing. I was only trying. Trying is not taking action!
Trying is an excuse for me not to do better. Taking the next step, by committing to the action of Wholeness. I will fulfill the purpose. Then the waste turns to Gold. This year, I am honoring all parts of myself. Staying committed by being consistent. Integrating both parts of myself I like and dislike, creating a healthy wholesome compost pile. Finding the Gold! How do you stay committed? How do you honor your whole Self? Are you making excuses or taking action by taking the next step?
Mending ones ways…Acquiring daily practices like affirmation, drinking nourishing herbal infusions, and taking action. I feel more committed. What are the ways you practice taking the next step? Need assistance?
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Here’s to you finding the Gold…