January 14, 2015 I moved to the most isolated place in the World, Hawaii.
I purchased a $5.00 one-way ticket to the Big Island to find out,
Who am I…
I brought two suitcase with me. One bag full of Hope the second bag full of expectations. The most important bag unnoticed was my emotional baggage of BELONGING...
The lessons were fierce. I knew after I arrived by the pain that I was receiving through my body. My teeth ache immediately all the way down to my roots. I had a constant headache that last almost the entire time. I’m not one that is prone to headaches. My body was insisting me to notice. Be aware of the desire to belong. I was hoping for a new opportunity to see myself differently. A new place, new home and new community. The expectations were bigger than ever.
Be wise what you seek....
I call this my dark ages. Transitional and Transforming! I feel like a rebellious teenager, a second puberty. A rite of passage. For someone who has be enabled for most of my life. By choosing an enabling life, I’ve allowed others to make my decisions. But I was deep in the world of enabling. I wanted to make my own decisions. I desired to be a sovereign woman. Running way from home only mask the problems. Instead the problems ran to me in force. I cried rivers, waterfalls and occasional flash floods without any warning. I yearned to belong to another place then my home.
I was broken hearted...
There were no distraction of the city life, no family drama and I was faced with my own drama.
The elements are strong in Hawaii. The wind blew in the darkness. The water flowed into my fear. The fire ignited my Love for my authentic Self. The quietness was serene, although sometimes silenced my anger. The earthquakes shook my foundation and aftershocks brought meaning. The sunshine warmed my passion to NOT change and accept who I am. The stars glowed of magic to trust the unknown. The snow made me feel at home. And the plants, trees & birds were my allies, to thrive.
I traveled so far, to not make this work. I persisted into my pain. Knowing the darkness would only lead me to brightness. I was guided to walk into the fire and burn all my desires to belong!
Hawaii drained my sorrow to make space for courage…
I decided to move back home where the problems first arose. Rising from the ashes to return where it all began, my family of constellations.
I’ve come home to Colorado with the same suitcases. This time, one bag filled with Acceptance and the second bag filled with Gratitude.
I am stronger and wiser by taking the journey.
I know who I am!
Without the darkness the stars cannot shine….
Quote found in Reykjavik, Iceland
Mend ones ways…Acquiring daily practices like affirming positive I am statements; I am Miracle of nature, I am whole, I am Love. Drinking nourishing herbal infusions and Laughing. I feel more accepting. How do you practice acceptance for yourself & others? Are you at peace where you Belong? Need assistance? Try my Listening service or an Herbal Reading. Celebrate the seasons at a Woman’s gathering.
Come join the Dream Lodge.